Climbing the Mountain of Grief

If you look back upon the landscape of your life, you will most likely find the terrain to be extremely varied. Rarely does the course meet the horizon line for very long, indicating calm and maintenance; rather, the picture is punctuated with bumps, hills, and mountains representing life’s challenging climbs, as well as grooves, dips, and valleys celebrating the ease of some successes. 

As someone who knows about death and loss all too well, you may find that healing and resiliency are not always contained on a straight path either; instead, you may discover that despite your best efforts to remain positive and find peace, sometimes you will trip and lose your footing, falling back down the way you have already come up. This can be an upsetting and frustrating experience when you’re working so hard to “make gains” in the process. As time passes though, you may find that retracing steps can actually strengthen the body and cause realizations that were missed the first time around. Also, with the help of climbing poles (social support/ family/ friends), your difficult summit to the top of your grief process will most likely feel less cold, less jarring, and less wobbly. 

No matter where you are in your grief process, be kind to and understanding of yourself. You are going through a difficult time and setbacks are certainly to be expected. Treating yourself with compassion will help alleviate self-imposed guilt regarding a timeline of grief. The timeline is an individual one and may be forever changing. Take comfort in the words of Peter Marshall, who spoke of great strength in times of great challenge: “When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and that diamonds are made under pressure.” Take as many breaks as you might need along the way and know that there will be an end.